Part 2
Round 8 Over 50s Mens Match Report by Grunta

One of the many joys of Over 50s footy is leaving home in the dark on a freezing Sunday morning to drive an hour to play away against a team that belted us in our last encounter. Said no-one ever…

Brought to you by 7-Eleven Coffee, the Warriors showed up for their second 9am start in July to face the Peninsula Raiders in Mornington. Acting captain Gezza lifted spirits, sharing the “feels like” temperature of 0, while our acting coach Kenny reminded us how privileged we are. I have an alternative definition of privilege – mine lends itself more to a large hot tub and a bottle of Grey Goose in a ski chalet overlooking the French Alps, rather than donning skimpy outfits on a frosty morning and smashing into angry blokes for two hours, but each to their own.

Round 8 was a 250-game milestone for Peninsula’s Nick Arnott (no relation), who I happened to be lined up on for the first bounce. We bonded over shit biscuit-variation-nicknames, until it dawned on me that 17 other blokes on the Peninsula team would be doing everything they could to get this bloke a goal. So I swapped with Matty D.

The first quarter started fast with Raiders swarming forward and creating goal opportunities early. For the first 10 minutes we struggled to get the ball out of defence, then steadied and developed some great passages of play for forward entries. Our switch game paid off with Clint delivering to Theo for a long shot on goal that was marked brilliantly by Congeni-Al on the goalsquare for our first snag of the game.

In the second quarter, Dusty took an intercept mark and played on, unaware of a Raider closing from behind, who pulverised him face first into the dirt so hard he emerged with a mouthful of crude oil. Unbelievably, the umpire, oblivious to the Short Fat Defender-shaped crater visible from space, paid holding the ball against Dusty. Delirious, battered and bleeding, Dusty made his way to the sidelines and with Andy also out with a hammy, our bench of two was a zero. Hardly new territory for the Warriors.

The backline was busy again in the second quarter, and despite the injuries, we restricted the Raiders to just two goals for the term. Pas, Dave and Matty D had big jobs to do on the strong Peninsula forwards and kept them pretty quiet, with goals more likely coming from midfielders drifting forward. The Warriors were able to break loose at times, with Steve and Rev battling hard on the wings and our tireless engine room getting hands on the ball. By half time the score was 5.8 to Peninsula, 1.0 to the Warriors.

The coach had been busy collecting stats and at half time we were introduced to Kenny math. “Ok, so in that quarter the ball went inside our D50 four times, but rebounded nine times, for a score of 3.2, and based on Pythagorus theorem we get a coefficient of πr2 to the power of 74. Ok?”

Huh? Can’t speak for others, but I was lost after “ok”. Dusty got it though, and solved the cryptic equation in ancient Egyptian – head knocks create all sorts of wonders.

Speaking of Dusty, with Sammy and Damo done for the day due to other commitments, he wiped off some blood (not all), passed the HIA and bravely took the field to give us a starting 18 for the second half. Warrior!

Peninsula came out hard again in the third quarter and got on top with 5.5 to 0.1 as the benchless Warriors scrambled to keep up with the Raiders’ run. The backline worked their arses off to stem the flow but Peninsula continued to find ways to goal.

After the three-quarter-time huddle broke up, I jogged to the backline and thought I was loose until I saw Mr 250 hiding in the shadows on the goal line. Arnott v Arnott was on again, and he hadn’t kicked a goal yet so EVERY F$#KING RAIDER WAS LOOKING FOR HIM! I was not going to let him have a goal on my watch! So I swapped with Pas. I just didn’t tell Pas. I should have I suppose, but I’m still learning…

The final stanza was a superb effort from the Warriors considering we had no bench and key players Sammy, Damo and Andy done for the day, plus plenty of sore and struggling Warriors on the field. When we went forward we looked dangerous, with Marko, Gezza and CT creating contests, and we got rewarded when Theo snapped through another crafty goal.

Welcome back Carbo who dominated in the ruck, with Bruisa and Eddie winning plenty of footy all over the ground. Col was sensational, and didn’t need to be ‘managed’ this week by the umpires. Clint and Al presented and took critical marks, gaining valuable territory. The tackle count was up and the Warriors pressure lifted despite tired bodies, but the Raiders were too good around goal.

SportsBet was paying $764 for the following multi –
1. Col most broken tackles.
2. “Get on no. 27” the most shouted phrase by the Raiders.
3. Gez to shitcan the early start time.
4. Kenny to start in the back pocket.

Got ‘em all except the last leg. With only one working limb, biology finally won over delusion and sadly we missed Kenny on the field this round, but it was great having you in the coaches’ box, and big thanks to Kaine as well. Congrats to Gezza as acting captain for Round 8, who will not be around for the last two games of the year.

The good news is that Kenny and Gezza have been named as the 14th and 15th debutants for Essendon this season.

Two home games to go, both at a civilised 12.45pm, against Bayside in Round 9 and a must-must-win against Port Melbourne in Round 10, who are also winless. Dig deep (for the Neurofen) and get yourselves up for the run home for 2025.

Score

Peninsula 14.16.100, Eastern Warriors 2.3.15